It was one of those full-page Esquire cartoons.
Two weathermen were seated in their meteorological laboratory, which boasted enough cutting-edge technology to start a whole new NASA. The weather-forecasting technology in every corner of their laboratory looked to be a century ahead of its time.
“I predict rain,” said the first weatherman.
“Why?” asked the second weatherman.
“Because,” replied his colleague, “My corns hurt!”
Those who view American politics and leadership the way I do now have the rotten feeling of sitting there while the happy television jockeys fill the air with word that “Trump is down 6 points, Biden is up 8 points,” “Trump is down 12 points, Biden is up 11” and on and on.
Then we go to the big Biden rally in Philadelphia, at which Biden pretends to want unity in the land. These pious salutes are followed by the worst kind of divisive destruction of President Trump and his administration. Joe Biden has no right to look America in the eye and declare that our thriving economy is the accomplishment of Barack Obama and that Donald Trump is a thief who tries to take credit for the accomplishments of his predecessor. And we are then subjected to the kind of raucous cheering we enjoyed so much when the ones who were cheering were cheering the truth, and not trying to snare our rip-roaring economy as a proud page in Obama’s scrapbook.
Just listen to the insults and trash talk of our new Grand-Unifier, Joe Biden. How dare he so savagely choose to portray as a lying villain the most successful president in memory?
Did you get the way Biden, after all his pleading for unity, came flat-out with what amounted to the interesting confession that his “foremost objective” was to get rid of Donald Trump?
Then the rally turns into an impeachment derby with the proclamation that 70 percent of American Democrats want Trump impeached!
May we get real for a moment? Are those of you who so energetically shout your approval of Biden and your hatred of Trump trying to tell me that 70 percent of members of one of our two great parties want the president who literally taught America a better way to live – and achieved far too many triumphs to be listed in this space – to be fired in disgrace?
President Donald Trump is not some kind of high priest who writes the best prayers. All Trump did was unleash the powers that made America great. It was Donald Trump who had the intelligence to formulate effective polices and the wisdom to get out of the way. Now you opponents of Donald Trump will see your hatred backfire and your lies exposed, along with your attempts to pretend Trump’s success is actually usurped from the economic wizardry of Barack Obama, who rightly deserves the laurels.
How dare you try to brand America’s most effective leader as America’s most dangerous menace? In fact, I don’t believe you. Even though the joyous media are already screaming Victory! as the purported numbers tell us Biden is leading and pulling away from Trump, I simply don’t believe you. One national skill that helped make America great was our instinctive ability to tell the difference between the real and the phony, between the Trumps and the Bidens.
Our friend back in the Esquire cartoon knew it was going to rain, despite all the high-tech evidence to the contrary.
Pass the good news on to Trump. My corns hurt. They hurt something terrible. My corns have rarely hurt so bad.
Thanks for all your sophisticated polling. I’ll stick with my corns.