Slippery eels or stupid humans?
Man and animals have coexisted since the dawn of time. And while dogs rightfully feed off the crumbs of man's table, what rights do river eels have getting high off man's cocaine addiction?
That's right. Toasted eels. High at man's expense.
University of Salerno researchers, to discover more about the endangered European river eel, conducted tests that some may find counterproductive: They put the eels in cocaine-laced water. This was done to mimic the concentrations of illegal drugs quite often found in European rivers, according to National Geographic.
The poor creatures were subjected to the drugged environment for fifty days followed by a 10-day detox in clear water. The animals, as expected, acted in the same frenetic manner as people do when using the mind-altering substance. Not a shocking discovery, and since the eels appeared fine in all other aspects, there didn't seem to be much effect. Further observation revealed, however, that the eels retained cocaine deposits in their tissue, deposits that had long-term deleterious effects.
Check out the following video that spells it all out, including the levity attached to a serious issue of illicit drug usage:
According to Newsweek, "The cocaine induced an increased amount of cortisol in the eels, which consumes fat – fat that the animals need stored in order to migrate and breed." Migration is a 3,700-mile trip. National Geographic tells us: "European eels have complex life patterns, spending 15 to 20 years in fresh or brackish water in European waterways before crossing the Atlantic Ocean to spawn in the Sargasso Sea just east of the Caribbean and the U.S. Eastern Seaboard."
Coke-tainted water also deteriorates the animals' muscle, making it difficult to swim. And the uptick in dopamine caused by exposure to cocaine also interferes with the timing of an eel's sexual maturity.
Great going stewards of the earth, folks. If you're bent on doing something illegal and damaging to your body, have the wherewithal to keep it to yourself. If you can.
Power to the People – the little people, that is
Check out first-grader Harold Ho's "re-focus" paper above, filled out while in the principal's office – ahem – refocusing.
Harold is honest. Creative, too. Too bad the "My behavior caused the teacher and other students to feel" section wasn't worded more accurately. The kid tried. "Freaked" is a good assessment. But the reality may be – if Harold Ho were a real kid and not one of a cast of characters dredged from the mind of Captain Underpants author Dav Pilkey – the teacher felt himself not up to the task of keeping young Master Harold engaged.
That's not Harold's fault, or Pilkey's, although the incident of drawing Dog Man comics may make a teacher freak out. And, much as we may lament how others feel, we are not (in the long run) responsible for other people's feelings. Our actions, yes.
Thank you, Dav Pilkey, for a round laugh!
Run, it's Godzilla! Or is it ...?
Bridezillas. The term was popularized after the reality show by the same name first aired back in 2004. The phenomenon of the leviathan bride with seven heads, spewing venom, assigning blame and mauling everything within reach is getting worse. And why not? Marriage is a lifetime commitment, truly soul-shaking and not to be entered into lightly. (Hold the snark.) The wedding, however, is the biggest show on earth. Bag Barnum and Bailey Circus.
But Dartmouth MBA candidate and one-time bridesmaid Courtenay Duffy had enough. Nixed from a wedding roster via email, Duffy took to Twitter to ask (not demand) JetBlue to refund the cost of round trip coast-to-coast airline tickets she'd just purchased.
Of course the reason for the refund needed to be supplied, so bride Alexandra's email absolving Duffy from harboring any guilt feelings over letting her down – that's right, Duffy was treated to a passive-aggressive guilting for being dumped from the wedding party – was duly posted.
The Sun reports reports:
'I'm so glad you've booked flights! […] I've got a massive favor to ask you, though – and this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to ask anyone – but I need to ask you to relinquish your duties as a bridesmaid,' Alex writes.
The bride then explains that she had hoped for Duffy to be able to come to all the events, but the nature of her schedule meant that was impossible.
'When I asked you, I was really hoping you could be part of this whole thing – the bachelorette trip, at least the weekend, prep and the full night of the event (a Sunday night flight means you won't even be able to be there for the whole wedding). …
'The whirlwind nature of what your travel has become just won't work with the duties as a party member. I am so, so sorry!!'
Sorry is offering to refund the cost of the flight; or better still, sticking with the plan and having the friend you asked to be your bridesmaid, be your bridesmaid. Duh. But apparently bachelorette trips are more important and Duffy's failure to dismiss her own commitments was an unforgivable faux pas, especially when pitted against "her duties as a party member." Duffy did, however, receive high praise for putting her studies first and was invited to have a fabulous time at the wedding. Everyone except the bride is apparently dying to see her ... provided she returns her wedding jumpsuit (dresses are out the window too) so it could hopefully be filled by someone else.
Alexandra offered to pay for the clothes and shipping. Isn't that special? And despite all that wretched disappointment, the bride said she'd be open to chat via phone if that's what Duffy wanted. "I promise we're totally cool," ended the sugar-coated Dear John Letter.
The rest was an explosion on Twitter with women and men taking sides. Some believe Alexandra had a right to expect her bridesmaids to clear their schedules for an epoch event. "Abby Atilano tweeted: 'I think the only issue with this is that she should've called instead of emailed. But other than that the email was well worded and I honestly agree with what the bride is saying," according to the Sun. Others would like Duffy to keep the jumpsuit and trade in her ticket to take a beach vacay and send the happy photos of sea-soaked bridal attire to her former friend. So sorry, plans change. And, quite often, they go very wrong.
Check out the following clip to see why some brides might be working themselves into lather about "their" special day:
JetBlue is the real winner here though. They got a heap of free advertisement on Twitter after agreeing readily to refund Duffy's apparently foolish investment. An additional offer was made to fly the two women to some future destination where they could mend their relationship.
Duffy, wisely, passed.